I saw it on a lonely electric pole at the end of a cul de sac in quiet neighborhood near the college. It was a scroungy piece of shitty paper on the street light. I thought it was one of those "Lost My Dog" notices with a shitty picture of a dog. I sometimes see stray dogs and thats when I wish that I actually took my time putting the poor owner's number in my fucking phone. If I actually did find a stray dog, not only do I get the reward, but I can look like a true humanitarian. Although when it really comes down to it, I might not accept the money. By not accepting the money, I can make myself feel real good; real good about myself. I like that feeling of moral satisfaction you can give to yourself. If I were a fucking psychologist I'd call it something like a ethical masturbation. You know, you just do it make yourself feel good inside.
Anyways, enough about fucking masturbation. Back to the fucking paper. This shitty paper didn't have a fucking dog picture. It had no picture as a matter of fact. It said:
SUICIDE HELPER
Do you feel like killing yourself?
Are you bored with life?
Do you wanna die?
Can't do it alone?
We'll help you!
Call this number
(xxx-xxx-9809)
Remember people die alone!
You don't have to do it alone!
Isn't this shit illegal?
